Sunday, August 5, 2007

Contribute to the ABSCESS Zine!

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I know we have some twisted, talented fucks out there who also happen to worship at the porcelain altar of ABSCESS. Help me out and send me something fuckin' cool to add to the zine!

SUBMISSIONS GO TO: abscessjunkies@gmail.com

_______________________


Attention all scumfuck cult-mutants of the most exalted ABSCESS.

In a fit of unholy inspiration I've decided to throw together a zine to pay tribute to the four freaks who are responsible for shitting out those depraved, sick, and entirely unwholsome sewer-anthems that enrich our pathetic lives.

...and I need your help! Yes, it is time for Abscess fans across this dumpster Earth to come together in solidarity and present Chris, Clint, Danny, and Joe with a dripping, oozing, leaking love letter in thanks for all that they've done to separate us from our hard earned cash over the years.

Submissions are NOW being accepted and a deadline will be determined at a later date once contributions begin to mount.

"Nothing is true, everything is permitted." - William S. Burroughs

SEND IN ANYTHING. Absolutely ANYTHING.

I'm looking for reviews, art, short stories, photograph scans, concert reports, anecdotes, interviews, what-ever-the-fuck. If you once wrote "I like Abscess" on a piece of scrap paper, I'll take it! If you want to poop on a piece of paper and finger paint a likeness of Chris Reifert's cock, go for it! I want to jam pack the pages of this bitch with as much filthy fucking garbage as possible. As long as it's inspired by ABSCESS, then it WILL make it in print.

As for the quality of the zine, this is going to be 100% pure lo-fi old school underground filth because I'm not trying to make art or charge anything for it if at all possible. I imagine the end product will just be black and white, photocopied, and bound by twist ties!

Once this shit is done, the first four copies will be shipped straight to Abscess' P.O. Box so let's get to work!

PLEASE SEND ALL QUESTIONS, SUBMISSIONS, ETC TO:
abscessjunkies@gmail.com

Thursday, August 2, 2007

[REVIEW] Blood Freak - Multiplex Massacre

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Gas up the Butchermobile, pick up Dr. Bitch, and make that call to Acid Dropping Satan because it's time again for Blood Freak to get behind the wheel and burn up the highway in search of fresh kill! Now that I've owned "Multiplex Massacre" for 3 months and I've had time for it to sink in, I'm going to get this out of the way right now and just say that you will not find a better album in 2007. This wins, and even though the year still has some months left, it won't make any difference whatsoever. Blood Freak has come a long way. In just a few short years the band has gone from clever practical joke to the flagship band of Razorback Records and with this latest offering, Neil Smith, the man behind the Turkey Monster has mowed down all competition undergound and above.

Last year when I reviewed "Live Fast, Die Young... A Leave a Flesh-Eating Corpse!" I praised its variety and wealth of musical influences. Upon hearing "Multiplex..." for the first time, I have to admit I was a bit dumbfounded. This is pure, stripped down, in your fucking face, and relentless. If "Live Fast..." was a joyride all over the map, then Blood Freak's latest offering is a mother fucking bullet-train to Hell. I initially lamented my beloved doom-laden passages taking even more of a back seat in favor of a more straight forward approach, however it didn't take long for this album to finally grab me by the throat. I'm convinced THIS is Blood Freak's best release to date.

Though it starts off with a synth driven '80s style slasher soundtrack piece, it's not long before "Cleavage Clever" sets things in motion and from there it's a killer half hour of Drive-In/Exploitation/'80s Horror worshipping death-trash replete with B-string rape, meat hook-laden melodic riffing, multi-layered razor sharp soloing and a vocal gang-war assault from all sides with assistance from Gurge of none other than Lord Gore! Yet again, Blood Freak epitomizes what is so great about underground metal. It's about horror and being heavy as fuck, but also being mindful to create songs worth remembering. Most underground bands today in their never-ending quest to out "brutal" the next forget that they need to write good songs, but what the fuck do I know? Blood Freak knows and they deliver every goddamn time.

Lyrically, "Multiplex Massacre" is once again jam-packed with talent from the likes of Billy Nocera, Sly the Goregnome, Jose Angeles, and Repulsive Patrick; a vertiable who's who of the Razorback Hive all contributing to the band's ever-growing canon of terror, sleaze, and horror-worship! It's great to see classic films such as "Rocktober Blood", "Killer Workout", and "Savage Streets" get their due as well as taking the time to further the adventures of the Blood Freak regulars like Acid Dropping Satan who once again gets his very own tune ("Don't Metal With Satan"), and just about everyone else in an orgy of nu-horror slaughtering madness featured in the track "Go For The Gross-Out".

In this age of easily obtainable MP3 files and the decline of the CD format, it makes me all fucking warm and fuzzy inside that the sick bastards at Razorback Records put forth a massive amount of care and effort into the packaging for their releases. "Multiplex Massacre" is no exception and my opinion, it's the best yet! Putrid's splatter-fuelled eye candy adorns almost every page of the booklet and the cover remains one of the best pieces of horror-art I've ever seen. Don't get me wrong, I love Ed Repka every bit as much as the next guy, but the cover art on "Multiplex..." simply crushes the cover from the previous album in my opinion. Putrid's style is simply the best and I can't wait to see what else he shits out in the years to come!

This latest offering from Blood Freak proves yet again that Neil Smith is not only the best musician dwelling in the underground, but one of the most sincere. His prolific output is staggering and "Mutliplex Massacre" proves without a doubt that the man has sold his soul to horror. With a little help from his friends, he's cranked out the best goddamn album of 2007 and I can't wait to see where the Butchermobile takes us next.

Highest. Fucking. Recommendation.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

[REVIEW] Fondlecorpse - Blood and Popcorn (MCD)

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Fondlecorpse is back!! B-Movie Couchpotato warriors the world over have been clamoring for the inaugural Razorback release from Holland's bloodiest export since all of the band's previous output was crammed onto a single CD in the form of "From Beyond the Crypt" back in 2003. They said it would never happen. They said it was impossible; that Fondlecorpse's second coming was just something parents told their children to let them sleep soundly at night - a myth to make life on this fucking miserable planet bearable for another day. Dear friends, I am here to tell you that "Blood and Popcorn", the latest offering from those purveyors of True Creaturegore is HERE and it's time to stop making a dent in your couch and run as quickly as your fat-ass will let you to Razorback Records and get your copy!

The first thing you're going to notice when you hit play is the drum machine is dead and buried! I was totally floored the first time I heard the disc and the difference in quality between this release and their previous material is just insane! As "Twice the Hate, Twice the Carnage" opens the disc it quickly becomes clear that Fondlecorpse has earned their rightful place in the Razorback pantheon seated next to the likes Frightmare, Blood Freak, and Lord Gore.

This quartet of bloodthirsty gremlims play a sort of bastardized thrash-death hybrid, almost as if it belongs between the two Frightmare records! Sly's vocal assault is as murderous as ever striking a perfect balance between his highs and lows while remaining coherent and it won't be long before you're singing right along with the Gore Gnome himself! Though Sly is one hell of a frontgnome for these maniacs, the brothers Bas and Mathijs Brussard provide all the stringwork here and their skill is fucking terrifying! The guitar is catchy as hell as it thrashes away one moment and shreds out a melodic solo the next and we're even treated to some dual harmonies which fucking rules! The bass guitar, usually swallowed by the chaos on a death metal recording is clearly on display here and it's a perfect compliment to the overall sound. Last but certainly not least, Paul Beltman's skill behind the drumkit is exactly what Fondlecorpse needed to move away from their past and into a bright future of invading the homes of horror freaks the world over! Scoot over, make a spot for the creatures of Fondlecorpse, fix that tracking on your VCR and get ready to fuckin' party! Having a blast and '80s horror flicks is what this band is all about and with songs based on movies like "Chopping Mall" and "Basket Case", you know you're in for some pure horror-worshipping fuckin' metal!

It's impossible to talk about a Razorback release without mentioning the packaging and for "Blood and Popcorn" it's no exception. Putrid is quickly becoming my favorite underground artist and his cover painting for this release is every bit as crazy as you'd expect. I assume it's a picture of what happens when Fondlecorpse gets invited to play at a sorority house, just take a look at the cover above! The interior is loaded with more Putrid art, picture collages, lyrics, and the tray art is done by Adam Geyer, another obscenely talented fucker.

If I could level a complaint about the disc is that the ride is over much too quickly. However, this is a Mini-CD and priced accordingly, so even though it's just under 20 minutes, you'll be getting your money's worth and I guarantee as soon as it's over you'll be trampling over your pets to hit that "play" button once more. Five fun, ass-kicking horror-worshipping tunes of Creature Metal, awesome packaging, Putrid and Adam Geyer art, and for only $8? This is a fucking no-brainer!

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

[REVIEW] Psycho Sleaze #1

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"Shit, blood, guts, tears, vomit & semen splattering everywhere. This is the meaning of life."

Jose Angeles is a goddamn national treasure. For at least a couple of years now, he's been the busiest artist in the underground churning out book after book of the kind of filth that usually ends up as evidence in a murder trial. Jose started his publishing empire with Crude Dude Comix which he used as a platform to vent his unique misanthropic views of our society in booklet and web formats. I spent many an hour on the toilet (bar none, the best place to read his stuff) laughing at and along with his writing and over-the-top stippled art style. Call him a genius, call him immature, call him fucking crazy but at least his shit demands you form some kind of opinion unlike the bullshit that passes for comics these days. In this day and age of shiny computer colored homogenized Image/Marvel vomit, you know you want something with a little more GUTS, right? I thought so.

Enter Psycho Sleaze, Jose's latest and most insane book yet! While it's a departure from the autobiographical Crude Dude Comix I was used to, I gotta say I'm every bit as happy with this new direction. Rather than wax philosophical while severely fucked up shit befalls the antagonists, this is just pure, straight-up sick horror/humor/splatter. Less reading and more gore!? Fuck yeah!

This tome of perversion brings us seven short tales each of which begins seriously fucked up and ends with you saying, "Holy shit, what the hell is this guy thinking?! Fuck, he has my home address!" My favorite story in the book, called "Eye Balls", has the hero carving out the eyes of everyone within uhh, carving distance and stuffing the trophies down his pants so all may behold his mighty testicles! Check out the pic below for a glimpse of the story's climax! I really don't want to spoil anything else for potential buyers of this badass comic, but rest assured, you've never read anything like it! Even Jake from Bloody Skull Comix never went this far! I can't imagine where Jose will take us from here but I'll be there to pay for my ticket, fuck yeah.

Oh yeah! Gone is the small booklet format from the Crude Dude era and now we're treated to full sized eye-fulls of stippled slaughter! (See Below!!) There are times you'll actually have to hold the comic away from your face a bit just to take in all the detail!

Now to wrap this up. You like comics. You have $10. You have nothing better to spend it on. Buy Psycho Sleaze and save yourself the misery of thumbing through yet another worthless superhero or gothfag art comic.

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Monday, July 30, 2007

[REVIEW] Nunslaughter - Hex

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Nunslaughter. If this most unhallowed name rings unfamiliar to your ears, heed these words for when the metal inquisition draws nigh, you shall be without excuse and the strained snapping of your breaking bones upon the unholy rack shall be the last sound you hear, unless you are one of the lucky ones and quickly run through.

Since 1987, these stalwart Satanic metal warriors have waged their campaign against all that is regarded as holy by the mindless thralls that have surrendered their humanity to the imagined whims of an invisible taskmaster. For those within earshot of this Promethean quartet, the message is clear. Free yourself or be crushed as you stand in the path of Nun-fuckin'-slaughter!

"Hex" was unleashed upon the underground just a month ago, but you wouldn't know it by hearing it. Nunslaughter adheres to a solid, time-tested sound and words like "progression", "maturity", or "commercial" will never apply. This is the sound of early Death Metal such as Venom, Death, and Possessed and there are simply no apologies. Remember when riffs were catchy, vocals were steeped in hatred, and the songs weren't bogged down in pretentious musical showmanship? Nunslaughter embodies that bloated carcass of Classic Death Metal (the One True Death Metal) and beckons you to partake in its flesh and drink deeply of it's tainted ichor in blasphemous communion.

With song titles such as "This is Fucking War", "I Hate Christians", and "Smell the Burning Churches" there is no question as to what motivates the band, and with the longest track on the disc clocking in at two and a half minutes, each composition is a swift, venomous blast of hatred that burns out quickly and never simply fades away. Also, as Nunslaughter was in the process of forging these unholy hymns, all weakness and other unnecessary elements were stripped away leaving "Hex" with a total running time of just 30 minutes; a finely tuned instrument of torture.

The packaging for this disc is also true workmanship. The 24 page booklet printed on heavy stock is filled with atmospheric photography, full lyrics, and band photos. Though my only complaint is the lack of a hand-drawn cover as in ancient times passed, the impaled effigy bathed in candlelight on the cover is most certainly evocative and not ruined by Photoshop filter-fuckery as most modern releases are plagued by. Highly Recommended.

Do yourself a favor and BUY this album. Don't be a fucking moron and just download the MP3s. Give the Devil His due.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Fighting the flu.

Sorry for the lack of new content, but for only a week online it could be worse. I've had the flu since Tuesday night and I'm still trying to get it under control.

Also, I really do plan on having more here than just music reviews, so hold your fucking horses! Blathering about music is the easiest for me since I can listen to it non-stop at my job. Movies and comics are a little more difficult to make time for, but I promise I'll be delivering some bullshit on that as well.

Shit, I don't even know if anyone is reading this blog yet, but in case someone is just keep tuning in.

Thanks!

Oh yeah! Soon I'll have my own personal copy of PSYCHO SLEAZE #1 by none other than Jose "It's called stippling, you fuckface" Angeles. As I'm under the weather and visiting the bathroom more often than usual, I've had more time to go through my back issues of Jose's Crude Dude Comix and when I get his latest abomination, I'll be giving him a write-up because he's the god you didn't know you needed to worship until it was too fucking late!

Helloween was cool before they sucked!

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I totally lost my power-metal hard-on at the end of 2002. I'd first gotten into this style of music at the age of 14 when I saw Helloween on Headbanger's Ball in 1988. I loved the speedy dual guitar interplay and double bass drumming that the genre is most known for and in the mid-to-late '90s I completely overdosed on the shit. By that time, there were a handful of original bands and a legion of clones churning out the style. It was impossible to keep up with and eventually I started to lose interest, but it wasn't until 2002 when I attended ProgPower III in Atlanta that I just couldn't take it anymore. By the time that weekend was over I thought if I ever heard another happy chorus or a song about kings or elves or knights I'd shoot myself in the face. I shit fairy-dust for a month, I swear.

I'm currently in the process of unloading part of my 2000+ CD collection and as I was setting aside stuff I no longer had use for I came upon Helloween's debut album "Walls of Jericho". For the hell of it, I popped it in the CD player and gave it a spin for old time's sake. What do you know, this one is still kicks serious ass!

Back in 1985 the style known today as "Power Metal" was in its infancy and "Walls of Jericho" was one of the records to birth the genre. The cliches and shortcomings of the sound had not yet congealed into the crusty stagnation which defines it today so this album is basically just an '80s metal record with a little less focus on agression and more on speed and melody. Nonetheless, it's a "proto-Power Metal" album through and through. Happy sing-along choruses? Check! Incessant double-bassery? Check! Noodly dual-guitarmanship? Check! It's all there, but completely forgivable since these guys were one of the first to actually do this shit and if you're in the mood for it, it fits the bill nicely.

The production is raw, the band isn't at their peak, but the songwriting is top notch and their talent shines through even if it lacks the polish and squeeky-cleanliness of what would come later. All for the better, I say! Kai Hansen can't enunciate for shit but his tinny, unrefined vocal style gives the band a completely unique vibe, not to mention his interaction with guitarist Michael Weikath which still has yet to be surpassed. The rhythm section of Ingo Schwichtenberg and Markus Grosskopf is also awesome and tight as fuck. This is one talented group of Germans and while I have little love left for the beast they collectively spawned, if you only buy one album to represent this kind of metal in your collection, you can't go wrong with this one.

Most people like the "Keeper of the Seven Keys" albums better than this, and I'll agree they're good, but I guess overall I prefer the raw and more traditional sounding "Walls of Jericho" over what came after so this is the one that gets my recommendation.

Anyway, I didn't mean for this to turn into a review. I just felt like adding something to the blog and shooting the shit with you all before I got back to shuffling around my CD collection. Later, fuckers!

Sunday, July 22, 2007

[REVIEW (Sort of)] Atheist - Unquestionable Presence

NOTE: This isn't exactly a review of the album - just a rant about finally getting my copy of this long-out-of-print-recently-reissued-masterpiece-of-fucking-greatness. Written May of 2006.

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I first heard Atheist's "Unquestionable Presence" in 1995 on extremely shitty RealAudio clips and ever since that moment I've coveted this album for my own collection. Sadly, by the time I was in the market for it, it was out of print and copies on Ebay were going for a ludicrous amount. Later on with the advent of .mp3 technology I was able to procure this masterpiece for my own, but it's just not the same as having the real thing in your hands. The cover art, the lyrics, the liner notes; to me these are all things that go along with the music - call me old school, but I could never be happy with just the mp3s of an album this amazing.

So who is Atheist? Well, the short description would be "Death-Jazz Metal", which is pretty goddamned accurate. Back in the late 80s, they were major players in the Florida Death Metal "scene" which included legends such as Morbid Angel, Death, Malevolent Creation, Deicide, and others. While most bands at that time were focused solely on outdoing one another at being "heavy" and "evil", Atheist took a path of virtuosity and technicality that only Morbid Angel could have matched. Fusing jazz-inspired progressive insanity with the brutality of death metal and a heavy dose of good old fashioned metal riffing, Atheist became legendary in a very short period of time. Though their legacy only spanned 3 albums, they influenced an entire generation of technical metal bands who to this day have yet to match what was accomplished on "Unquestionable Presence" or their debut "Piece of Time".

Anyway, in 2005 Relapse Records announced they were to reissue all 3 classic Atheist albums and I finally got my fucking copy of "Unquestionable Presence" in the mail today! I don't keep up with new releases like I used to, mostly because there's nothing "new" that really interests me anymore, so when last week I remembered about the re-issues I decided to look online and now that it's finally in my hands it's like a small dream is fulfilled.

Not only does this CD contain the album, but it's packed with a shitload of demos which are fucking killer to finally hear and will be studied by serious fans of band for years to come, I'm sure. I can't believe how well this sounds for a 1991 recording either! Put on headphones and crank this motherfucker and you can hear every instrument in perfect clarity with every musician having their own space to display their incredible talent.

The booklet is great as well. The kick-ass cover art is sharp, the liner notes are packed with band history, and of course lyrics; everything you need. For $12, I believe i got more than my money's worth. I think I'll be picking up the other reissues very soon. After experiencing the abomination of Megadeth's "re-issues" a couple years back I was afraid to splurge on all the Atheist CDs at once, but now I can say my fears were unfounded in this case.

This is pure unfettered passion with absolutely no adherence to conventional rules of music, metal or otherwise. Even if you're not a metal head; if you like music for the sake of music, or if you're the very least interested in hearing something that isn't your typical radio bullshit, you owe it to yourself to buy this fucking disc. Now.

[REVIEW] Blood Freak - Live Fast, Die Young... and Leave a Flesh Eating Corpse!

NOTE: Some seriously unapologetic Neil Smith worship here. Fuck it if you don't like it! Written last year when this album was new. I need to get off my ass and review his latest which is just as good as this one, only shorter. Enjoy!

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Blood Freak
"Live Fast, Die Young... and Leave a Flesh-Eating Corpse"
Razorback Records
Review by Undeadair


I proclaim 2006 to be the year of Neil Smith. First we were slashed, smashed, thrashed, and left for dead with Frightmare's "Bringing Back the Bloodshed" and just two short months later, barely enough time to recover, BLOOD FREAK is upon us once more!

With Blood Freak, Mr. Smith is a one-man killing machine and his array of chosen weaponry on this recording is staggering. Thrash, Death, Doom, Grind, Psychedelia, and just good old fashioned METAL are all on display making this by far the most varied album on the Razorback Horror Hive's illustrious roster. No two tracks sound exactly the same and it's this patchwork of influences ranging from Autopsy and Impetigo to Black Sabbath and Deep Purple that will keep this disc spinning long after you've grown bored of your Slammification collection.

As much as I love the death, grind, and b-movie sound clips which would have been more than enough to satisfy anyone who loved Blood Freak's "Sleaze Merchants" disc, I have to say the music truly shines on the longer, doomier, and more atmospheric songs like "The Flesh and Blood Show" and "The Nameless Stench of Forgotten Celluloid". Their oppressive pacing and dissonant, yet catchy riffs serve as a breath of fetid air before the next onslaught ensues.

Though I'm always astonished by Neil Smith's output in Frightmare, Lord Gore, and of course Blood Freak, it wasn't until I heard "Goretits" that I realized the depths of Neil's evil genius. With this one track, he's essentially written the "Boneyard" of the next decade. Simple, short, and catchy as hell, I think this song sums up everything I love about horror, metal, and underground music.


No review of this album would be complete without mentioning the amazing package that surrounds this essential piece of music. The 16 page booklet is stuffed with hilarious lyrics by Billy Grossera, with guest writing from Sly the Goregnome and Lucio Holocausto, amazingly sick artwork from Putrid, and topped off by a killer cover drawn by none other than Ed Repka, the godfather of old-school metal art! It's obvious from start to finish, from the music to the packaging, great care was taken to create a unique tribute to days of horror gone by when the gore was plentiful, the boobs were bare, and the plots were razor thin.

For about the price of a ticket to the next pathetic Hollywood attempt at a horror remake, you could own this. You'll be glad you got this instead.

[REVIEW] Gigantic Brain - The Invasion Discography

NOTE: Here's a review I wrote in 2004 and I find it funny that it's still impossible to describe the music on this CD. No one has copied the style since and I doubt anyone ever will. It's too bad we'll likely never see another release from GB, but maybe you poor bastards who missed it the first time will be blessed with a re-issue at some point. It's still a fucking unique, brilliant, misanthropic, and geeky slab of drum-machine fuelled hyper-grind and this CD is most definitely worth hunting down ASAP.

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Gigantic Brain
"The Invasion Discography" CD
Razorback Records 2004
Review by undeadair

This is everything you know about grind gone horribly wrong in the best possible way. From the hyper-space blast beats to the sick alien screams of pan-dimensional destruction, Gigantic Brain conquers your headspace and makes you an unwitting thrall in their campaign of utter annihilation of all known life in the span of an hour. This disc of intergalactic grind is pieced from all previously conceived anti-material and as such, there is little "flow" to be found here. What you will find however, is fleeting stability until being sucked into a black-hole and spat out to a completely unique multi-verse of aural chaos. If you can survive the entire trip, you are truly among the few; the elite who can claim to have the impenetrable strength of will to withstand such a mind-blowing experience. With that said... you will still become food for the Gigantic Brain. Buy and/or die anyway!

All Hail the Dark Lords of the Cyst (or How I Found My Way Underground)

Lord fuckin' Gore!

I'm not here to be a scholar, so if you want a comprehensive history of the band, go HERE. This post is about their impact on me.

Back in 2002, I discovered an internet radio show called "Death's Dungeon" hosted by Lord Pentagno on Seismic Radio. I'd once been a DJ on that network (the show was called "Undead Air" - imagine that!) and like Pentagno, I also broke away from the standard prog-metal format and played a wide variety of crap ranging from '70s prog rock and video game music, to power metal and "melodic death metal", which was just finding its feet back in the mid-late 90s rather than being the Ozzfest standard it is today.

Pentagno's show was SO much cooler though. He played nothing but death and black metal and between songs he'd speak in an evil death metal growl while in the background you could clearly hear kids and dogs making noise in another room. I loved it! From 6 - 9 PM on Monday nights you could tune in and hear all manner of underground musical excrement. I didn't like it all, but between the shitty drum machine "brutal death metal" like Brodequin and his inexplicable need to play at least one Cradle of Filth and Insane Clown Posse song per show, he really did play some killer shit and he didn't mind if you made fun of him for his guilty pleasures either, which he plainly had coming to him.

The first night I tuned in, he played Ghoul and I was immediately hooked! "Ghoul? What the fuck does this have to do with Lord Gore?" you ask. Fuck off! This is my story, so let me finish! I'll get to Lord Gore. Anyway, when I heard Ghoul, I asked him where I could go to buy the CD. He directed me to some obscure label called Razorback Records. A few minutes later I was logged into a website that CHANGED MY FUCKING LIFE.

While I browsed the catalog of Razorback bands and checked out the samples, one band stood out among the others. The album cover was some fucked up painting of anime chicks having sex while eating each other! I don't know about you, but that kind of stuff compels me to learn more. After hearing the sample for the song "Lord Gore" I was sold and dropped the CD in my shopping cart along with Ghoul and The County Medical Examiners (I was also obsessing over Carcass at the time thanks to Pentagno's show) and waited patiently for the mail to arrive.

Checking the mailbox everyday for my package to arrive reminded me of when I used to send in G.I. Joe proofs of purchase for free figures (anyone remember the Duke and Manta Ray offers?!) and the excruciating wait that followed. Thankfully instead of 6-8 weeks for delivery, Razorback only takes 3 days. When the CDs finally arrived, I holed myself up in my room and decided to play Lord Gore first...

I hadn't heard anything like this shit before! It was slow/mid paced but fucking heavy as hell not to mention catchy and even melodic. In between the songs were fucking crazy movie samples that really set the tone for each track. The vocals though - holy fuck. It says here right in the CD booklet that the vocals are 100% natural and no studio (or otherwise) trickery was used. Gurge became and still is my favorite death metal vocalist even after having discovered the other gods of the genre like Chris Reifert, Stevo, and John Tardy.

Prior to this, I'd never heard Autopsy, Impetigo, or Rigor Mortis. I had not seen "Street Trash", "Return of the Living Dead" or "Let Sleeping Corpses Lie". I'd been into metal and horror movies all my life, but I'd barely scratched the surface. Sure, I'd been exposed to "Bad Taste", "Brain Damage" and a few other hidden gems when I was 14, but beyond the selection at the Mom & Pop video store where I lived, there wasn't a source like the internet to assist in the hunt. When it came to all this underground stuff, I was still in the dark so to speak and Lord Gore was responsible for cracking the door open. Frightmare, Blood Freak, and others would blow the door wide open later, but at the time, I felt like I'd just discovered a fucking new dimension!

So here I am now, 5 years later and discovering new crazy shit all the time still. It's funny how ignorant I was back then, but I won't pretend to have seen everything like i'm some jaded veteran prick of the underground. Far from it. The greatest thing about being a fan of horror, heavy metal and subversive crap is that it you'll never see or hear it all. There's always some chunk of filthy media that time and civilization buries only to be discovered down the road by accident or just talking with fellow degenerates. We're goddamn evil archaeologists and this blog will serve as my field report.

Oh right. Lord Gore. As a tribute to this once mighty group of sick fucks, I've named this blog after one of their songs. It's the least I can do. Why did they break up? Who the fuck knows? Music like this doesn't pay the bills, so I imagine they're all doing something much more lucrative like working at Taco Bell. Anyway, Thanks you filthy fuckers! You're gone but never forgotten!

Saturday, July 21, 2007

A brief introduction.

Greetings, fellow street trash!

Welcome to The Trash-Hole, my own little smelly, dank corner of the internet where I'll be randomly spewing commentary on the shit that interests me (and hopefully you) the most! This place isn't intended to be a news source or an authoritative look at the horror underground or anything. It's just my blog and I'm an out of touch kind of guy. I just write about the shit I'm currently into, which more likely than not will be shit that's not very current at all. Deal.

Also, I'm opinionated (i.e. an elitist asshole) and may very well say something you don't agree with. So in the spirit of fairness, I'm going to put forth a few guidelines that will indicate if you should even bother to return to this site!

If...

1) You think Eli Roth and Quentin Tarantino are brilliant directors...
2) The first horror movie you ever saw was made after 1990...
3) You like anything by Metallica, Slayer, or Megadeth after 1990...
4) You think Suffocation and Necrophagist are currently putting out good Death Metal...
5) Your top 5 list of horror movies includes one of the "Saw" movies or any remake that isn't "The Thing", "The Fly" or "The Blob"...

...chances are we won't get along very well and you should probably just fuck off now. However, there's always exceptions and if any of the aforementioned applies to you and you care to stay and learn a thing or two, then welcome aboard! You'll thank me later. Just keep in mind that if I say anything that pisses you off, it's only a blog and I don't care.

When I started this post I thought I'd tell you all about me, but I've changed my mind. You'll get to know me through the blog itself. Hopefully you'll be entertained at least and at best, exposed to some cool shit which is what this place is all about.

Coming Soon: My pathetic little tribute to a band that led me to my reawakening to all things horror, sleazy, and sick. Lord Gore, you will be missed...

*A special thanks to Branden from Ex Dementia for the logo! Thanks Pal!